维利好像对我这句话很有意见。
当我在这里写下这句话、当我在唱这首歌的时候，你们知道我在想些什么吗？
我不是想让你们知道“我并不勇敢，所以不要把需要我用勇气去做的事交给我”。
我不是想要逃避任何责任。
我也不是在转牛角尖或什么之类的东西。
难道我没有勇敢的扛起责任吗？
难道在现实生活中我有让你们觉得我好脆弱、什么事情都需要由别人帮我做、需要别人的保护吗？
我自认，没有。反而，我不让人保护我、帮我。在我能力范围内，我都亲力亲为。
在某人眼里，我是个要求考到高成绩的学生。
在某人眼里，我永远对每一个人没有偏见。再令人讨厌的人我都能接受。
在某人眼里，我能在学会里平衡这三种责任。
在某人眼里，我是个默默耕耘者。
在某人眼里，我是个 group leader。
在某人眼里，我可能永远都那么开朗。
我不想再列出来了。否则好像把我自己弄得太了不起。
我承认，我还是有很多事、很多方面不足的地方。我也希望能把这些不足、短处，给改掉。但，我是个人啊。人永远是不会完美的。但在我有限的范围内，我已经很努力了。
你知道对我而言，能承认这句话、能唱出这首歌，是多么的困难吗？
我是个故作坚强的人。我不会在现实生活中轻易的让人看到我的脆弱。但这不代表我百分百勇敢、坚强。
我是不想你们太看得起我。我也有不会的东西。我也有不好的一面。同时，我也有不勇敢的一面。但，我没有求任何人来保护我。我只想至少做好我分内的事情、有能力时能帮帮别人、伤心难过时能够在朋友面前真情流露，而不是把眼泪吞进肚子里。但，事实是，我通常把眼泪往肚子里吞，因为我不想让朋友担心。
那，为什么你们都不知道原来我也只是和你们一样罢了，而没有你们想象中那么勇敢呢？因为，我不曾刻意让你们知道。而这里，是让我踏出第一部的管道。
难道，要我继续故作坚强吗？我能。但我不想再带着这两幅勇敢与坚强的面具了。
放下讨厌武装，像个孩子一样，单纯的把爱情放在你心上。--〉在这里的爱情指的是友情、亲情、等等。
我错了吗？请指点。。
那首歌好像这样唱的：“只要你明白，我心动的痕迹”
在港据《凤凰四重奏》里，每一集都会听到紫君对孙女慧贞说这句话：
“你要记住，能够遇到自己喜欢的人，是一件最幸福的事。所以，一定要好好珍惜。无论遇到任何问题，都不要轻易放弃。只要你爱他，任何问题都可以解决。”
今天听到，原来喜欢一个认真地会让人的心跳加速。不是电视/电影夸大说的。
我已经不记得自己最后一次有心跳加速的感觉是几时了。或者，我因该说，不知我曾有心跳加速过吗？就算是因为表演而紧张，也只会全身或脚发抖罢了。心，我会刻意的把它压着，跳动的像正常水平一样。
我可能有说过，我并不喜欢心跳加速的感觉。（这代表我有心跳加速过吧。不过，已经不记得了。）所以，可能我的潜意识会刻意把我的心跳压漫，直到我无法感受心跳加速的感觉。还有若我无法把心跳压漫，我就会与那事或人保持距离，直到心跳不会加速为止。
紫君说，“能够遇到自己喜欢的人，是一件最幸福的事”。说的容易。虽然在我爱情日记里是一片空白，但我却相信，爱情不会是只有幸福而已。反而，“凄美”会比“完美”以及“幸福”来的多巴。
我太悲观了吗？可能对于爱情罢了吧。但我一向认为我是个乐观派的人。容易忘记。容易原谅。直到老师说我有个 sad aura，而一眼就看出是唱漫歌的人。我想，我真的不好应付吧。
说真的。我不是你们想象中的那么勇敢。
终于把 midi clips 给做完了。那个 Sibelius 软件真的挺麻烦的，因为我有的是好旧的版本，也是麻烦的一个版本。不要紧，我因该很快就能把新的版本得到手了。
也因为这样，我因该快点开始努力找工作了吧。。
我需要$$。。因为我要：
- 买Canon G10 相机
- 买吉他
- 去旅行？
哈哈！好像和之前的有点儿不一样 hor ？
Anyway，从我们决定奋战至今已经有一个月了吧。步伐好像漫了下来了。是三障四魔吗？我们每个都开始在忙着各自的生活了。我应该需要快点找到工作了。不能因为这些事而阻碍我找工作。。
我还是觉得，我不是你想象那么勇敢。
I'm usually not a decision marker. Unless it comes to being accurate in the pitch and rhythm in music.
And it's precisely I'm not a decision maker by nature, that everything that falls on me is wanting me to make a decision on them..
It's like forcing me to breakthrough this fundamental darkness of mine..
I'm all confused. But I'll be alright, once all these settles, or I forgot about them.. But of course. If I choose to forget, these will come to me again. I must settle and overcome these once and for all!!!
Sansho Shima is attacking.. We need to brace ourselves now!! Must not be defeated by it!!
But, it's really difficult.. Why does it attack at one's weakest link? Of course, if it's not my weakest point, it won't attack me.. Just like viruses in the air will always attack those with the weakest consitution, and viruses in the cyber world always attacks computers that are the weakest in their anti-virus protection.
I need lotsa daimoku.. And Sensei's advice!! Cos I'm weak.
"Faith makes people strong. And people of genuine faith shine the most when they encounter great difficulties. Certainly, it is better not to have obstacles. But from another standpoint, difficulties are benefits. By challenging and overcoming them, we can forge a character pure and immutable as gold."
"Daimoku is like the fire. When you burn the firewood of earthly desires, then the fire of happiness - that is, of enlightenment - burns brightly. Sufferings thus become the raw material for constructing happiness. For someone who does not have faith in the Mystic Law, sufferings may be only sufferings. But for a person with strong fatith, sufferings function to enable him or her to become happier still."
I choose to believe in everyone's goodness..
P.s. You can say 加油 to me, but please don't ask me what's all these about.. It's an accumulative of a lot of things, and some things are sensitive, and it's best for people who're not involved not to have full knowledge of it.. Thanks..
但，有时候，我真的没有你们想像中那么勇敢、坚强。
这是燕芳姐姐结婚晚宴的第一支歌曲。现在也是我部落格的唯一一首歌。好喜欢这首歌哦！
You are my Angel
Once upon a time Archangel in the sky
Made a cover every night
Once upon a time The Angel loved me so
It's a miracle In the snow my heart won't be cold
My dear You are my Angel
Tell me what you know
Something should be told
My dear You are my Angel
Tell me where you go
I will brace behind your throne
Once upon a time Archangel in the sky
Made a cover every night
Once upon a time The Angel loved me so
It's a miracle In the snow my heart won't be cold
My dear You are my Angel
Tell me what you know
Something should be told
My dear You are my Angel
Tell me where you go
I will brace behind your throne
Once upon a time My Angel gave me life
终于全部出来了！郑重宣布，我毕业了！
真是够慢的了。Dennis 已经在五月十一日知道了成绩，并且找到了工作，我成绩却才刚刚到齐。全部成绩如下：
| BACHELOR OF MASS COMMUNICATION - B1230 | |||||
| Period | Unit | Status* | Mark | Grade | Achieved CP |
| 2008/T1B | Marketing Development and Planning (BUS214) | COMPLETED | 50 | P | 4.000 |
| 2008/T1B | Consumer Behaviour (BUS273) | COMPLETED | 77 | D | 4.000 |
| 2008/T1B | Professional Communication (MCC246) | COMPLETED | 73 | D | 4.000 |
| 2008/T2B | Marketing Research and Analysis (BUS335) | COMPLETED | 63 | C | 4.000 |
| 2008/T2B | Public Relations: Contemporary Approaches (MCC204) | COMPLETED | 75 | D | 4.000 |
| 2008/T2B | Communication Research (MCC213) | COMPLETED | 72 | D | 4.000 |
| 2008/T3B | Integrated Marketing Communications (BUS336) | COMPLETED | 50 | P | 4.000 |
| 2008/T3B | Campaign Management (MCC307) | COMPLETED | 62 | C | 4.000 |
| 2008/T3B | Communication and Conflict Management (MCC345) | COMPLETED | 73 | D | 4.000 |
| 2009/T1B | Workplace Law (BUS228) | COMPLETED | 62 | C | 4.000 |
| 2009/T1B | International Marketing (BUS321) | COMPLETED | 62 | C | 4.000 |
| 2009/T1B | Media Audiences and the Public (MCC236) | COMPLETED | 68 | C | 4.000 |
终结：
- 5 Distintions （讨厌！没达到我 6 个 D 的目标）
- 5 Credits
- 2 Passes
我最后的 GPA 是 2.25.
虽然是有惊无险的一次过考完，也虽然我的成绩已经比理工学院时期的成绩来的好，但我还是不满意。尤其 Workplace Law。因为我才得了 62 分。因为我 WL 的 50% 的 assessment 都已经的了42.5 分。这就代表，我 50% 的考试才得了 19.5 分，也就是不及格。哪里可能！？！
也因为终于得到了不满意的及格成绩，我真的得再开始找工作了。不能再拖了。但，我还有好多东西要完成哦~
我就不多说了。让照片说话吧！
明天是燕芳与永利的婚礼。我、妹妹、芸婷、佩怡、和 Joanne 将是燕芳的姐妹。这将是我初次当一个新娘的姐妹，好期待、也好紧张哦！若只是参与婚礼，可能只需要出席罢了。但做姐妹的，就要准备多点东西。
还有，因我还没买我要的 Canon G10 相机，所以希望明天我这台 Canon Ixus 40 不会跟我发脾气，让我好好的拍好好的照片。
还有还有，上次我说我参与了朋友的婚礼后，会换上“朋友婚礼后后遗症”个几天。这次应该不会啦！因为结婚的是燕芳姐姐。
开始为广布奋斗了！最重要的，是要持续。Must keep the momentum, keep on moving. 不要开始像熊熊烈火，而很快的就把柴给烧完。
今天收到了好多的指导。。
From Yasu Hirayama (SGI-Japan Member & Artiste):
Everyday is a battle with your own negativity. By continuing this battle day by day, you will grow. All the struggles you go through when you are young are stored as treasures in your life. Difficulties will make you more sensitive-sharper. When the right time comes, all your struggles, all your treasures will quite naturally transform into art.
From Ikeda Sensei (SGI President):
You mustn't let setbacks get you down. You just quickly have to come up with a new plan and press forward. In the struggle for kosen-rufu too, it's important not to be discouraged by temporary setbacks. All the efforts you have made and the daimoku you have chanted thus far have brought you good fortune and benefit. But the important thing is what you do next. "Keep pressing forward!" - Let's make this our motto.
From Ikeda Sensei (SGI President) dialogue with Dr Mourao:
If we wish to make our lives vibrant and dynamic, we have no choice but to meet each and every challenge that arises for as long as we live. Courage, and the spirit to take on challenges, are the power source for overcoming difficulties. When you move forward, you can expect to encounter resistence. Then it is a matter of responding to that challenge. A dauntless fighting spirit is vital.
